BART > United Airlines > Heathrow Express > London Undergound > First Capital Connect > EasyJet > Metro de Madrid > AVE > Metro de Barcelona > Eurolines Bus > TGV > Paris Metro > Eurostar > London Undergound > United Airlines > Tragically, a ride by car home, as my backpack containing my Translink card (and several much more expensive things) was stolen in Barcelona.
Europe was for reals, and as soon as I'm slightly less jet-lagged I'll do a decent writeup.
One random point about being without my Translink card for a few days: I got to use the new Muni ticket machines at Civic Center station today. The machines are the product of Clipper maker Cubix, which also runs London's OysterCard system. For a brief moment this morning, until the faregates closed behind me, it honestly seemed like I could have been in a Tube station.